Not What You Signed Up For?
For Richard it was the stunning diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease. For Yvette it was coming to terms with not having her own biological child. For Nicole it was the realization that a move to be closer to her grandchildren robbed her of a sense of self she didn’t even know was important. For Max it was the emotional minefield laid by an alcoholic, abusive father. For Samantha it was the end of a marriage she’d sacrificed a lot to save. For Parker who prided himself on being a hard worker and loyal employee, it was the third lay-off in almost as many years. (Of course all these names from my client files have been changed.)
As varied as these examples are, in each case real life detoured dramatically from expectation. In some instances the unexpected challenge was relatively short-term. In others an entirely new life plan was called for.
When has life not met your mental or emotional picture of how things should be? Disappointment can be a small sigh of regret or a life-changing, dark-night-of-the-soul experience. And adding insult to injury, in the current psycho-spiritual wave of positive thinking and manifesting, crushed hopes can seem like a character defect. What did I do wrong, what’s wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be handling this better? How can I possibly get through this?
Consider these suggestions:
Start with the truth of the situation. What were you expecting? What happened instead?
Be honest about what you’re feeling. When life hands us lemons, it’s human to feel angry, bitter, resentful, lost, confused. These are generally not comfortable feelings to hold and the subconscious pull to stuff them in a deep, inaccessible place can be strong. It’s one thing to hang out in denial long enough to gather the resources needed to face the situation squarely but it’s another thing altogether to choose to stay there. Stuffed feelings don’t magically dissolve. On the contrary, they can take on a life of their own, festering into depression and even physical illness.
Determine what, if any, action is appropriate to take. For example, stalking your ex as he lives it up with his new girlfriend is not helpful in any real-life universe; however, writing a letter about how hurt and betrayed you feel – and then burning or shredding that letter can be enormously therapeutic.
Check your perspective. Is everything in your life a horrible failure/disappointment/shitstorm or does it just seem that way? Be careful of all-or-nothing, black/white thinking than can fuel negativity and blind you to what isworking in your life. Speaking of which …
Practice gratitude. A daily Gratitude Journal is healing, nourishing and helps strengthen positive neuronal pathways.
Practice staying in the moment. Today’s challenges can be hard enough to navigate without the seductive spiral into future what-ifs added in. Train yourself to notice when your mind has jumped to possible avenues of anguish ahead and then intentionally bring it back to the here and now. Don’t be surprised if this happens a lot. It’s okay! Every time you notice and course-correct, you are doing your mind and heart a huge favor. Writing rows and rows of lower case “i” -- being careful to dot the “i” right at the top – is a wonderful way to ground yourself and keep your focus on the now.
Lean into Spirit. Various spiritual, metaphysical teachings offer existential context that can be enormously sustaining in such instances. If you don’t have a spiritual foundation, this is a great time to embark on a search for a religion, philosophy, community that makes sense to you.
Get professional help. Shattering life experiences don’t have to shatter you. Professional support can be invaluable in identifying and strengthening your inner resources. I promise you have them!
Whatever you have going on, may spring’s promise of renewal lighten your heart and be a portal of grace and ease for you and your loved ones.
Until next month, remember: All is moving toward the good.
A Higher Perspective
2551 San Ramon Valley Blvd., Suite 254
San Ramon, CA 94583
Someone to Watch Over Me makes a great gift!
Please add Someone to Watch Over Me to your list of supportive resources for children and adults. Here are some reasons why:
It's beautifully illustrated by visionary artist Mary Derrick
It offers 26 avenues of connecting with Heavenly Guides and Angels - one for each letter in the alphabet.
It can be a door to spirituality for children and adults who are aren't already oriented that way
It's non-denominational and non-religious so you don't have to worry about offending anyone you give it to
It is a keepsake hardcover workbook that the reader makes his/her own
It requires the reader's active participation through questions
It invites and fosters artistic imagination through the reader's own illustrations
It establishes life-long pathways for spiritual resourcing
It generates conversation and discussion about spirituality within families
It teaches kindness, compassion, confidence, inner peace and inner strength
It's simple enough for children and sustaining enough for adults
Autographed copies are available directly from me
Direct ordering is available from Amazon (qualifies for Prime shipping) and Barnes & Noble. See details below.
I now have copies available for purchase via PayPal which can be individually autographed and shipped as you wish. The cost per book directly from me is $19.95 + 8.5% sales tax and ground transportation costs. Both Amazon and Barnes & Noble are fulfilling orders within a couple of days and depending upon your account with those online retailers, you may qualify for free shipping.
Those of you who have taken the time and care to post your review of Someone to Watch Over Me on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, thank you very, very much! Those online reviews help tremendously to bring new awareness to the book.
My goal is 100 5-star reviews by December 31, 2017. Will you help me reach it? You don't have to have purchased the book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble to write a review of it on either site.
Did You Know...
I'm very excited to be generating deeper engagement on the AHP Facebook page, LinkedIn and via Twitter, and would love for you to be part of these conversations. Your comments, likes and shares are welcome.
Five Stars for A Higher Perspective on Yelp
Thanks for Your Support!
As those of you who have experienced my work know, results are generally quick and so I'm always happy to welcome new clients. Your direct referrals are appreciated beyond words. Thank you for recommending me to your friends and family.
Several of you have been kind enough to post your comments on my Yelp profile. Thanks to you, more and more people are finding me through Yelp.
If you've been pleased with your results at A Higher Perspective, please become a fan on Facebook and rate your experience on www.yelp.com. Check out my blog and Facebook page.
Craving More of A Higher Perspective?
Interested in backstories of my practice? My blogs often highlight client experiences as well as links to articles in the media about all kinds of fascinating mind-body-spirit topics. You're always welcome to comment on what I post either on the blog itself or my A Higher Perspective Facebook or LinkedIn pages. Also, I'd love to connect with you via Twitter (@LucyGrace888).
A Portal of Grace
The Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) has been "a portal of grace." It's the newest technique in my celebrated mind-body-spirit toolbox and there's nothing else like it in the cutting-edge world of meridian therapies. If you enjoy the tranquility of meditation, then TAT may just be the mind-body-spirit avenue of healing for you. Even the creator of TAT, licensed acupuncturist Tapas Fleming , doesn't know exactly how TAT works - it just does.
Tap It Away!
I have been using The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) with adults, teens and children since 1997. A recent study confirms that there's nothing better than EFT for the stress carried by returning veterans. If you are interested in a copy of the study, please email me. My website has a lot more information about EFT, including client comments. EFT can be done in person, via Skype or by phone with outstanding results.
A Higher Perspective Anywhere!
Skype sessions are now available for handwriting coaching, The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and the Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT). I'm excited about bringing these extraordinary mind-body-spirit tools to a new, world-wide audience. Since I will be conducting all the Skype sessions in my San Ramon office, those clients will benefit from the high vibration so many of you have enjoyed there over the years.
In the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombing, Boston TAT professional Patricia Thatcher put out a call to the TAT Professionals community worldwide for volunteers to join a Trauma Response Team . Along with many of my colleagues, I answered Pat's call.
Please keep me in mind as a resource in case of future need. I am available for three free TAT sessions via phone or Skype (preferred) in the aftermath of any natural or man-made disaster.
Success at Your Fingertips
Believe it or not, writing in cursive is an important mind-body-spirit connection. Although handwriting originates in the part of the brain that's most capable of change, I've always thought of The Vimala System of Handwriting as success at your fingertips. Using The Vimala Alphabet in a daily handwriting practice offers incredible benefits to your mind, your body and your spirit. Check out Vimala Rodgers' wonderful alphabet for the 21st Century on my website; then call me to arrange a series of handwriting coaching sessions in person, via Skype or by phone.
Vimala Rodgers has designed a postage stamp using the Vimala Font. You can see and purchase it here.